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Feb 1, 2022

WHAT YOUR FAVORITE SAD DAD BAND SAYS ABOUT YOU

My brother-in-law sent me this today... minutes after I posted the REM music video. 
The National
You should have moved to Brooklyn when you had the chance. You never had the chance. At what point does the artisanal whiskey interest become just alcoholism with a higher word count? You used to think you were once great at soccer, but now you’re not so sure you were ever good at soccer. This is causing a very low-level existential crisis that will vanish in three years.

Bright Eyes
Someone hurt you. Multiple someones, actually, and at some point, you just said fuck it and made a spreadsheet to keep track, deleted the spreadsheet, undeleted it, and stored it in a file titled PAST. You’re nearing a point where you like making pesto more than eating pesto. Never been a sports fan but might give hockey another try.

Bon Iver

Perhaps the most accurate term to apply to your situation is “seriously injured and lost in the woods.”

Modest Mouse
What are you on? What are YOU… ON? You’re on LIFE, man. Life and energy drinks. No, you haven’t heard from Jen in many years now. You heard she might have moved back to town, actually. You’re not on Facebook, because, yeah, that’s all you need, THOSE people listening in. Your bike is transportation to and subject of the protests you attend. 
R.E.M.
Can someone really know all this stuff about cucumbers? You are proof that someone can. You have more of a comment than a question. You are giving the Catholic Church another chance. High-top Chuck Taylors hurt. You remember what making out felt like when you were seventeen years old, and you’re writing it down so you always will. Your sister had friends named Connie and Tracy that your dad called “Bonnie and Stacy,” and everyone in the house got audibly mad at him about it. You have a favorite sock brand.

Read them all via McSweenys