- Pretty good at everything except Excel.
- Fast metabolism.
- Have never given a keynote, but have ideas and am probably capable.
- Good at convincing friends to take pictures for me while posing on conference stages.
- Extensive experience not reading all of my emails.
- Not going to make mistakes like thinking acumen is a spice (it’s not). It's a business thing and turns out either you have it or you don't.
- Proven fantasy football commissioner.
- Demonstrated ability to skip meetings with believable excuses.
- Over 25 years of spelling experience.
- Bravery.
- Exceptional MS Paint skills.
- Skilled at not biting off more than I can chew (knows when to hold knows when to fold).
- Above-average dancer.
- Proven reader (and comprehender).
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MOVIES THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER HAD THEY STARRED NICOLAS CAGE
MOVIES THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER HAD THEY STARRED NICOLAS CAGE
1. Water World — Jet Skis, Nic Cage, need I say more?
2. Apollo 13 — Dudes probably would have landed on the moon and not fucked up the whole mission.
3. Gravity — Nic Cage just up in space floating around? Sounds like a pretty nice movie.
4. Twister — Nic Cage vs. Tornadoes, I am in.
5. Final Destination — Good luck killing Nic Cage.
6. Hunger Games — Pretty crazy concept and all, but how much crazier would it be if you let just one adult (Nic Cage) in the game?
7, Titanic — Nic Cage would have never frozen in the ocean — boat most likely would have still sunk (not sure on that though).
8. All of The Batman movies.
9. The Sixth Sense — Nic Cage as a ghost? Interested.
10. Good Will Hunting — Robin Williams was way too soft to be a Boston based therapist. Nic Cage… Now there’s a dude that can connect with inner-city youth.
11. Jaws — If I know old Nic, he would fuck some sharks up if given the opportunity. Sadly, there would not be Jaws 2 or 3 because he would kill all of the sharks in the first movie.
12. Kill Bill — Nic plays Bill… Good luck Uma.
13. Thor — Welcome to fuck town! Population: Nic Cage!
14. Pacific Rim — Nic Cage controlling a huge robot in the ocean? Instant Oscar contender.
15. X-MEN — Whoa guess who has knives coming out of his hands?!?!? Nic Cage!
16. Step Up 2: The Streets — Part of me has always wanted to see Nic Cage dance.
2. Apollo 13 — Dudes probably would have landed on the moon and not fucked up the whole mission.
3. Gravity — Nic Cage just up in space floating around? Sounds like a pretty nice movie.
4. Twister — Nic Cage vs. Tornadoes, I am in.
5. Final Destination — Good luck killing Nic Cage.
6. Hunger Games — Pretty crazy concept and all, but how much crazier would it be if you let just one adult (Nic Cage) in the game?
7, Titanic — Nic Cage would have never frozen in the ocean — boat most likely would have still sunk (not sure on that though).
8. All of The Batman movies.
9. The Sixth Sense — Nic Cage as a ghost? Interested.
10. Good Will Hunting — Robin Williams was way too soft to be a Boston based therapist. Nic Cage… Now there’s a dude that can connect with inner-city youth.
11. Jaws — If I know old Nic, he would fuck some sharks up if given the opportunity. Sadly, there would not be Jaws 2 or 3 because he would kill all of the sharks in the first movie.
12. Kill Bill — Nic plays Bill… Good luck Uma.
13. Thor — Welcome to fuck town! Population: Nic Cage!
14. Pacific Rim — Nic Cage controlling a huge robot in the ocean? Instant Oscar contender.
15. X-MEN — Whoa guess who has knives coming out of his hands?!?!? Nic Cage!
16. Step Up 2: The Streets — Part of me has always wanted to see Nic Cage dance.
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