Love as SFDC Dashboard: The Movie

Up until now, I didn't think A24 was capable of making a bad movie. But then I saw Materialists... and let me just say, WOOOOOOOOOF.

What a TERRIBLE movie. Like on every level, bad.

Not polarizing. Not misunderstood. Just bad.

I don't even know how to describe it much beyond that. It’s all just so weirdly flat. It was like watching these beautiful NPCs trying to simulate dating and romance while getting stuck in some sort of logic loop.

The dialogue was offensively bad – it felt like some sort of financial-bro erotic fanfiction. Dakota Johnson's character is this high-end matchmaker, and EVERY SINGLE line she delivers emphasizes this corny economics language... everything is salary figures, value metrics, unicorn nomenclature – if a Salesforce dashboard were a movie:

"She's high risk, low ROI."

"They have poor compatibility percentages."

"You've got 6 inches of heigh on him – double your valuation."

CRINGE. It's so scripted and rehearsed that the movie completely loses any sense of emotional realism. The LOVE-AS-A-MARKET schtick gets REALLY OLD, REALLY FAST. 

And no one is gonna convince me that this was satire. It's not (although it does feel like it could be sponsored by Salesforce... which honestly if this was some 4-dimensional sponsored content by Benioff that would be kind of sick). It's just a REALLY bad movie. 

The Shitification of Superhero Movies

Why do all superhero movies feel like airport food? Mass-produced, bland, and always somehow WORSE than you imagine.

I’m exhausted by the industrial shitification of superhero movies – the endless conveyor belt of MCU, DCU universe sludge being pumped out to the masses. 

The new Superman isn’t even a movie. It’s a glorified trailer for the next twelve. A corporate content unit — a meticulously focus-grouped little dopamine pellet, algorithmically optimized, and destined to be licensed into oblivion. Which, honestly, is working because I bought a Superman Slip N' Slide this weekend aaaaaand the Superman popcorn bucket (I AM NOT ABOVE THIS SHIT).

These movie narratives are no longer driven by character or theme — they are driven solely by IP management and quarterly earnings. And you feel that because there is LITERALLY no story here. Just a string of CGI set pieces, stitched together by awkward character introductions and a painfully obvious meme-bait dog built for TikTok virality.

And the worst part? These franchise movies don't end – they're a mere vehicle for endless setups for spin-offs, cameos, and crossovers no one asked for. There is never closure. Just the illusion of plot in service of perpetual content churn. 

It sucks. But what sucks more is how normalized it’s become. It’s not just that movies are getting dumber — it’s that we’re adjusting to it.

Fourth of July in Oregon

Steph in the iconic ASICS Gel Kayano 14  

"USA USA USA!"
Great photo of Sonny by Nic

Ask any local who makes the best drinks in town, and they will all say the "Screw and Brew." It is the only place where you can get a cocktail while you shop for new tools – very Oregon.

Stephanie Inn at Haystack Rock in Cannon Beach, Oregon

Spent the entire week in my father-in-law's huge Dodge Ram truck blasting Toby Keith. Left the trip wanting a bigger car – now seriously considering the Z71 Tahoe.

The older I get, the more deeply I appreciate time spent with family. It's such a blessing to be able to go home and share a holiday.